Travel and transport in Sri Lanka. Plus, Gerald.

Artistic licence with the story of Gerald, the Gecko

And it came to pass that the gecko, Gerald, did seek the deity, Ronnie and, upon encountering the Presence, he worshipped at the Foot and then climbed the Sacred Garment to reach that which must forever be shrouded in mystery. And, as he did climb, so the God Ronnie, acknowledged his obeisance and, leaping in the air in Ceremonial Dance, did bless Gerald with the Divine Unction, bestowing on him the liberty that he sought. As he flew through the air, Gerald reached the Sacred Lake of the Many Colours where he plunged, even unto the depths. Striking out across the lake, he was further blessed with the Green and the Blue as he found himself drowning. And, lo! Did a mighty Immanence appear, an angel from Ronnie, that did use the Sacred Net of Succour and Gerald was scooped, yeah, rescued and taken to salvation on the Further Shore.

P.S. Only the people involved will understand what this is all about!

The first thing you notice in this beautiful country, as soon as you step outside the airport, is tuktuks. Everywhere. These utilitarian vehicles are as ubiquitous here as motorbikes are in Vietnam. The difference though is that they seem to create much less pollution.

A tuktuk is made with pressed steel sections that bolt together, along with lengths of steel rod to form a simple cab and chassis. The 250cc engine sits on the front wheel which is the driving force. It’s steered with handlebars and the gear changes are also on the handles with a grip clutch. Braking is with a foot pedal and with a second grip. If you ever saw or rode in a Bond three-wheeler, that operated on much the same principles although it had a steering wheel and a proper stick shift.

When it rains, the side covers can be dropped down to keep you nice and dry. Many tuktuks have ornate stainless steel metalwork inside, giving a very exotic look and nearly all are personalised in some way with anything from a simple Apple logo all the way up to airbrushed artworks and screen printed interiors.

In practice, the comfort of the ride is fine, if the road surface is ok, but otherwise you will be bounced around as the vehicle pivots on its front wheel.

Vehicle artwork is also a feature of many buses and lorries which seem to fall into two distinct groups: disgustingly dirty, old and decrepit, pumping out noxious smoke that would instantly fail a vehicle test in the uk whenever the engine is under load. Or they are gleaming with immaculate stylised coach work. There doesn’t appear to be a halfway house on this. The constant smoke from exhausts makes long journeys quite tricky for the lungs.

Vehicle recycling appears to be everywhere and one quickly realises that there are only a few types of cars, vans and trucks, meaning that swapping out spares from recovered vehicles is easy and cheap. Body part shops proliferate and, by the side of the road, there are abandoned vehicles, part dismantled, stacks of front fenders, grilles and panels. Old vehicles are sometimes up on blocks, being repaired and tuktuk repairs happen literally by the roadside, with the vehicle tilted over by hand and propped up with a stick.

Roads are variable in quality ranging from rutted cart tracks to motorways. The latter can be incongruous with signs warning of peacocks, motorbikes travelling the wrong way up the carriageway and dogs running along the verge. Dedicated bridges in wildlife areas provide crossings for elephants and other animals. Occasional tractors or other farm vehicles are still allowed to use the road.

The toll roads have tollgates with a tiny toilet block adjacent which provides relief for travellers.

Roads will suddenly deteriorate with little in the way of surface and potholes everywhere and then, in a moment, they will be fine once again. Outside the cities and in the countryside, verges are planted with a wide variety of plants that add colour to the scenery - notably up in the tea plantations one sees Angels’ Trumpets or as I called them, Angel strumpets. And on the railways, small stations are lovingly decorated and shown to their best potential.

No one gets anywhere very quickly, unless one’s route happens to take in one of the few motorways. Roads swoop around geological and manmade obstacles, creating dangerous blind corners or they climb up mountainsides with dizzying hairpin bends that seem to have little in the way of barriers. Drivers are completely careless of all of that and happily overtake where the road says no, relying on holding their nerve and using the horn as much as possible.

In our journeying, we have spent many hours on these roads and have become nearly immune to the idiosyncrasies of the driving, but I think we shall both be glad to return to the predictable potholes and traffic jams of our roads with drivers who, in comparison, seem very courteous.