On the naughty step already

The path up to Duart Castle

At 6pm we are waiting for departure, glass of pop in hand, loitering meaningfully on our balcony while various men on the dockside did nothing in particular. While we are gazing at the surroundings Gabrielle suddenly looks both ways down the ship and says “There’s a bridge up there and another bridge up there.” No. One of them is a lifeboat, Gabs!

We bravely tackle the champagne knowing that it might go off once it is opened. It’s very good and we are suitably refreshed ready to go down to dinner, looking elegant of course. First though a visit to the bar where a delight and a disappointment await. The delight is Lor Chi En, our bar server. Her English is perfect and she smiles as she serves. A dangerous combination! The disappointment was that the wine she served was not great and we left it. Unheard of.

Our dinner was in the Italian Restaurant, La Terrassa and the food was wonderful. Carpaccio of beef for me followed by rare lamb chops - a meat fest. For Gabrielle there was a veggie terrine followed by a bowl of pasta. And Lor Chi En followed us, wielding two bottles of much better wine. Dangerous.

We chatted cautiously to an American couple next to us. Why the caution? You never know their politics and it was evident they were religious. However, we all got on well enough and eventually we said our good nights and retired for a somewhat disturbed night. Wine and good food are not conducive to a good night’s rest.

The ship sails tranquilly through the night. You barely know it is moving, but the weather is calm so that may be helping. Our room is very comfortable although not as wide as the suite we had on P&O Aurora for much the same price pro rata. There is every comfort you could wish for: a large bed, a warm woman (No Nick, you can’t say that!) coffee maker, stocked fridge which you can vary by choice, lovely toiletries, a dressing room with loads of storage and hanging space and, of course a balcony.

Isle of Jura

As I write this, the view wandering past our window is of the Isle of Jura. Just a note to say for other travellers that we have not located any binoculars. And it should also be noted that, with Silversea, much about everything is included: meals, drinks, trips, tips, travel from home, all transfers, unlike for example P&O for whom many of these things are costed extras. However, although Internet WiFi is provided as part of the package, it’s really poor. And if you fancy going for the premium WiFi you’ll need a mortgage.

We passed through the area of turbulent sea that is called the Corryvreckan Whirlpool. Here the waters swirl as tides from different areas clash and form dangerous navigation for unwary seafarers. Fortunately our captain is wary and the ship was not lost with all hands. We didn’t see the actual whirlpool but witnessed how disturbed the environment was.

Meanwhile we decide that we had better get showered and dressed as no one wants to see the wreckage that is us at that moment. Gabrielle stumbles into the shower, needing her specs to work out how it operates even though she used it last night. She carefully performs her ablutions, only to find that she has been showering her slippers too. My performance is no better, but since it’s my turn to write, I can draw a veil across my embarrassment.

You will recognise the stress we are under when I say that our first conflict of the day has emerged. We ordered a fulsome breakfast in our room for 09:30hrs but we learned that there is mandatory briefing (they are big on this) at the same time. Since the breakfast restaurants are all still open then, I think they won’t have many takers. We shall need to learn the essential art of getting in and out of the Zodiac boats on the job as it were. Didn’t we mention this? Disembarking at the stops we are making is nearly always via rubber dinghy while the ship remains at anchor.

As we ate our delicious breakfast served by our butler (!) the phone rang. There is a mandatory briefing. Well, that’s as maybe but we have mandatory breakfast and we are not rushing it. Well it’s mandatory. This is obviously the word du jour. We shall be there once we have finished. Ok. We can hear the phones ringing further down the corridor. We are not alone.

Down to the Show Lounge once we are finished and we meet the expedition leader who is amused by our lack of attention to the “enrichment programme”. We resolve to behave better and listen carefully to the fact that we are in Orange group and that we descend to the mud room, wearing our life jackets, when called over the tannoy. We also learn how to board the Zodiac craft since 90% of our landings will use them. Generally they should be dry landings so we don’t need waterproof boots. Phew!

Suitably chided, we head for a briefing on tomorrow’s trip to St Kilda. It’s delivered by an earnest presenter who knows all about archeology and geology, but obviously not much outside that. The audience make up for her lack of information.

As we passed the William Black Memorial Lighthouse on Duart Point, the destination for our first stop swung into view: Duart Castle. It’s very striking and has a small beach in front where we shall land from the Zodiacs.

First though, a lovely buffet lunch. We have been disappointed by quality of buffet on P&O so this was a refreshing change. And ….. we refused wine! Yes, it’s true.

At 2pm we dutifully head for the Zodiacs which we have watched being launched into the water by a large derrick on the rear of the ship. In actual fact, our training to get in and out of the boat worked a treat. In effect, everyone is treated as old and incompetent, which suited me just fine. We had a gentle amble across to the castle, with one lady driver in charge. Sitting on the rim of the boat, you cling on and hope you don’t tilt backwards - another reason you can’t wear your rucksack in the boat. Coming back was a different matter: Mr Macho in the driving seat and we were launched across from the landing stage to ship in a matter of moments. Both of us thought it was great, if terrifying.

The castle entry with tourists

And so to Duart Castle itself (pronounced the same as Stuart, by a Scot). That mind blistering scene with Catherine Zeta Jones and Sean Connery in the film, Entrapment. Where she is looping through the lasers, dressed in leather … ok, enough! It was filmed in the Grand Hall there. The walls are 15 feet thick in order to withstand siege and the whole place smelled of damp, despair and ghostly wailing. Apparently the laird still lives there - head of the Clan McClean.

Around its towering walls, fields of beautiful wild flowers bloom and the curlews cry and the swallows swoop across the lawns. Exquisite. And so back to the ship for a cuppa and a yoghurt left over from the massive breakfast we ordered with drunken enthusiasm.

Let’s discuss tonight’s offerings. Apparently, Cocktail of the Day is Corpse Reviver. How apt! Gabrielle will tell you in tomorrow’s post whether we sampled it.

In summary though, what have we learned?

• Don’t drink too much on the first night.

• Attend scheduled briefings.

• Take expedition cruising seriously - this is not a holiday!