Hairpin bends and naughty trolls

At one point, before we were due to travel to Norway, we had been offered the opportunity of an upgrade to a mini-suite. It had proved horrendously expensive - around 50% on top of what we had already paid. However, when we discovered how tiny our cabin was, we decided that we might ask again at Reception and see what the deal was and whether it had changed. “Do you have any suites still available?” asked Gabrielle of the young lady behind the counter. “I’ll just go and look,” she replied and disappeared into the back of the office. Moments later she arrived back, bearing a display tray of various confectionery. “Um, you didn’t mean that sort of sweets, did you?” No. “OK, I’ll check for you.” They had come down in price but were still ridiculously expensive, so we decided to stay with our Hobbit Heaven and make the most of it. Incidentally, when you are translating Norwegian Krone into GBP, the numbers are huge, giving the impression that you are paying a fortune - and sometimes you are.

That evening, as the Trollfjord steamed north, we could see that the land was really close by - huge lumps of rock were aggregated together and, in places, machinery stood atop them as if they were being quarried. This was a narrow channel that was protecting us from the open sea. All at once, a rainbow shone across the area and made the picture complete.

Dinner was delicious - my goodness, the food is good on this ship: eat your heart out P&O - and I had reindeer which looked like lamb shank but tasted slightly stronger. There was red wine aplenty - we kept on being topped up (not our fault) - and the evening was finished with the local aquavit which was delicious. This all led to a “busy” night with many wakings up and dreams. Gabrielle dreamed about ice floes with homeless people on them and she also believed that someone was hosing the ship down in the early morning and she heard a bark. Must be a seal, she thought. Barking? And Dagenham.

For our first breakfast, we had to master the buffet - so much stumbling around and apologising before returning to the table with things you never meant to choose. It was all very enticing and much of it very calorific. Everyone seems to be up and gone because few people were in for breakfast.

We dressed in shorts, hoping for warm weather and we were not disappointed. Packing our rucksacks for our expedition (um, bus trip) to see the Hairpin Bends and Soaring Mountains, we chose layers and stowed them carefully so they would be easily deployed.

The Saga Spirit of Adventure has nabbed the only berth so we have anchored in the Isfjord and had to tender across. Don’t they know who we are? Off the ship and into Åndalsnes (Åndalsnes is pronounced with an O. So, On-dals-nez) on the tender we went, and in the half hour we had available, checked out the chapel in an old train carriage, the gondola ride up the mountain and the beautiful views to the mountains beyond. We also looked out across the water to where our ship is anchored - it’s dwarfed by the Saga one.

The first stop on our bus trip was Trollstigen - the highest vertical wall of rock in Europe. We were on a level with the snow and were in shorts and t shirts in 20 degrees. The snow lasts well even in the sun after a hard winter. Apparently, last week’s trip saw nothing - it was fog all the way. We count ourselves lucky!

On our journey we saw a lovely farm where two flags were flying - one the Norwegian and the other the English. This meant, apparently that either Charles or William (or both) were at the farm as the flag shows residency. It’s apparently a favourite relaxing spot for them. The area is also used to film movies such as Mission Impossible, part of the Succession series and Troll. Oh, and by the way, there are even signs warning you to beware of trolls!

We were told how the Norwegians kept their gold from the Nazis, during the war by transporting it away from banks and hiding it before getting it onto British ships which took it back to the UK for safe-keeping. Åndalsnes was bombed during the war and Norway came out of neutrality as a result of German raids and sank one of their warships nearby.

And so on to the hairpin bends and they were very hairpin-y and very bendy indeed. At one point we were hanging over a 700m drop with traffic jams forming as inept mobile home drivers wrestled with the concept of giving way to larger vehicles. The dramatic drive took us past waterfalls, rockfalls and old roads and led us eventually, via a number of viewpoints, to the top of the mountain where the view down the valley was stunning.

It was a very busy car park, not helped by the buses from two cruise ships - and it was a Sunday and the start of the Norwegian summer holidays. A terraced walk led to viewpoints of increasing degrees of terror, some with gratings and full length glass side panels, others just providing a secure vantage point from which to observe the spectacular views of the hairpins, the river and waterfalls, the old road and the footpath as well down the valley to the distantly visible Saga ship.

Gabrielle spent a significant part of the journey and walk exclaiming and quietly screaming. Sometimes not so quietly. She’s not good with heights. By the end of the descent though she’s leaning into the bus window over the heights and commenting on the traffic jams.

We were first off the bus and dashed onto the tender in order to get back for lunch before the restaurant closed. Winegate! Yes, once again we had some delicious rosé with lunch. And of course, the food was stunning. I seriously pity the scales when we return.

And finally, it’s Hurtigruten’s 130th birthday today - July 2 - when the very first ship left Trondheim on a voyage that was to change the agenda for maritime transport along the Norwegian coast for ever.